Friday, August 1, 2008

Learn to give up.

It is a communication chat in msn from me to my friend, suitable for those who face relationship problems. ( house => man).
ET... says:
she wanna buy a house that is out of what her can afford, the house is not for sales.
ET... says:
just go for another house... and maybe just think of the word 'worth'.
ET... says:
not worth for waiting and sad for something tat u cannot have.
ET... says:
the only thing she needs to do is to give up.. =).
ET... says:
human will only feel sad.. when they put hope on something. I think she is still putting hope on that house.
ET... says:
maybe that pariah house still gave her wrong signal.. that make her tot that she might able to have it.
ET... says:
but once she give up, then she will be ok, learn to be give up. =).
ET... says:
Like if you were joining for a competition, if u already give up.. u wont feel sad.. even if u lose.
ET... says:
maybe can ask your friend to try to be an actor.
ET... says:
playing role in her own life, everything will under her control.
ET... says:
maybe just act like a businessman for her relationship.
ET... says:
then consider tat whether the guy is worth for her to invest.
ET... says:
what will get in return? percentage of failure?
ET... says:
if negative in return, for example like she think most probably she will feel sad and get hurt... then she should reject that business.
ET... says:
we must have our dream, so that we can achieve our goals and always aim for higher, but sometimes need to know also when to wake up, and learn to give up.
ET... says:
it is time for her to move to new chapter.

26 comments:

Eric said...

Been attract by your blog, these is my comment for your blog. Dream is dream, but everything is back to the real life. Maybe you are right, for your topic of learn to give up. But do you think regret for it? We did make a lot of decision in our life, but do you feel regret for sometime? Sometime there is no second choice or chance for something in our life.I did a DAMN SHIT decision in my life with my girl. The girl i love her for more than 7 years. i just knew she also love with me. But, the feeling gone as time passing by, just feel like a girl which i will protect & care for my whole life.So, we just remain best friend.She feel sad. Finally she leave because i asked her to leave & get her own Mr. Right. i cannot see any future between us. But, when she told me one day that she will get married soon,my heart feel loss loss & loss.DAMN...WHY? I regret i didn't stop her.I regret i didn't give second chance for myself & her.But, deep in my heart,i know i can't be fall in love with others girl anymore after her.This is because my heart stick with her.Cannot throw it cannot forget.I swear i will not make any regret decision in my life.I will attend her wedding dinner by next week.Dream broken,heart broken.Regret for my damn shit decision and thinking!!!

Eric said...

It is better to think twice before making a decision. Love cannot just weight like worth or not.Love is a feeling of caring.You feel caring with someone.If everything need to have value or worth,then it is not a love.Not a libra to balance for love.Give up is not a best way to do it,this is a bad avoid way.As you are trying to avoid the problem & ensure everything is under your control!Not everything in our life canbe control,ofcourse we must control our own life,however,we should not value it like a business.It is very bad for the guy or girl that you love.This is my thinking after my failure.Hope can help you or your friends.Learn to give hope.

Eugene Tan said...

Eric, nothing as right or wrong, since u already made your decision, then you have to live with the decision u made. U will never know what might happen if u were accept her that time. Maybe the result not as good as u tot. But, no matter what, all already in the past,I think for now on, what u have to do is happy for her. Keep looking forward.

Eugene Tan said...

Learn to give hope, u are right, Life need to be balance, for what you hope for and when to give up. and it is not my intention to ask my friend to give up, you yourself have to know when to put hope and when to give up.

Eugene Tan said...

Lastly, everything in my blog for relationship, is just an example. So dun have right or wrong. For sure 'Man' is not a house and Love cannot be valued. Hope that u dun misunderstand. Eric, nice to know you.

Eric said...

Have you fall in love with a girl for such a long time? I understand it, but why not we putting hope for everything.If you are looking forward for future, why we not looking forward for the relationship? Yes i am happy for her because she can get a man love her more than me maybe! How you know you cannot give the girl happy? If we keep thinking of negative, then we are not putting hope for future. I wish your friends can really think about it. No one can predict the future ofcourse, however, we must not thinking negative or the conclusion before anything. Yes, i might not know the result if i accept her, but i know i will give her all the happiness because she is the only one i care in my whole life. What is the most important in love? Worth? I think if you ask this with our parents, their answer should be not as negative as we thought. Maybe we can think of the other way round. Difference way have the difference perception & view. Go or Let go, all depend on what you think is worth or not. No libra in love. I feel sour when she crying to me and said that i am the one that she love in her whole life, then ask me to wish her happy. DAMNNNNNN, why i can treat her so cruel!!!Please think twice in everymoment & everydecision!!!Don't let your girl cry because of your DAMN decision like me SHIT!

Eric said...

i know your blog through friends' link then attract by your blog. Happy to know you as well.But, i think i am the worse guy in this world because i make my girl sad & crying before her wedding & said that she love me for her whole life!!!DAMN SHIT thinking, i did't bring her happy but sad finally! Do not regret in your life! No right or wrong in love, but we should not give up easily before we try in. Silly thinking damn decision will make our life worse. Do not regret do not let your girl crying. These is what a guy should do for your girl!May be your friends can keep looking forward for the future with the girls or guys. No libra in love, no absolutely 100% answer for it. Give yourself a chance,never regret for it!!!

Eric said...

No right or wrong for love, but no regret for love like me! I regret and i cannot face with her when she cried and told me that she love me and asked for happy wishes from me, then she will be happy!

Eugene Tan said...

My friend's case totally different than your 1, your story recall me for the movie "Made Of Honor". =). Hope that you are able to keep looking forward.

Eric said...

祝有情人永远幸福快乐!
As for your friends as well, do not regret and do not be silly shit like me to hurt her forever!!!
good luck for all.

Eric said...

life is a movie / drama, isn't it? sometime the drama / movie is just follow a person story. i learn to look forward and appreciate.
祝有情人永远幸福快乐!as may be for you & your friends also, keep look forward. Hope is everywhere. good luck.

Eric said...

every case still same for same concept, never regret. if you care for her, why you hurt her at last? may be she just acted be happy infront of you,but sad by herself?why you control her life as to ask her to choose, but how you know whether she is happy? may be she is not happy as you tot. Think it well,dude,keep look forward and good luck for all the couples.Next thurs is chinese valentine.good luck for your friends.

Jetiame said...

euegen:
suddenly this lylic ring to my bell
记不起甚么驱使我喜欢你
看在眼里看你熟睡多么美
围著这里柔和天气
我愿随风无声远飞
仍相拥也不等于我了解你
决定放弃再去接受自己
曾做错了仍然不生气
脸上还有希冀
若是我记得你亦是无须紧记
习惯一个人没有伤悲
而无论旧时说爱多美
再过半天你便记不起
若是我要等你亦是无须等你
遗留下这个世界向著前飞
纵爱理不理纵隔千里
谁预知将来或再一起再恋上你

In stead of asking your fren to "learn to give up" .I would suggest "learn to give a break".Give a break to urself and the one u love.let them to have a good rest and rethink ,should they be together or wat.
[b]谁预知将来或再一起再恋上你[/b]

** agree with eric
love is not about a business or investment.u may not get back rewards even u pay effort on it.
but do enjoy when u making the effort .dont u ?>

Eric:
yup..祝有情人永远幸福快乐..
love somone.it may not neccessary to own her.as long as she can gain her happiness .eveything is worth and rewarded

Eric said...

Jetiame, give me FIVE!
Jetiame:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
In stead of asking your fren to "learn to give up" .I would suggest "learn to give a break".Give a break to urself and the one u love.let them to have a good rest and rethink ,should they be together or wat.
[b]谁预知将来或再一起再恋上你[/b]

** agree with eric
love is not about a business or investment.u may not get back rewards even u pay effort on it.
but do enjoy when u making the effort .dont u ?>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yes, this is definately what i think also,but i cannot help much anymore. Must rethink & rethink before making any decision, any single decision may affect everything even in future. Give a time line for each other to rest may be, then try to catch the first feeling with each other. Do not regret for it, you may even feel more hurt & even more hurt her or him.

- 最初的感覺 -> 愛很簡單

Eric said...

My girl always complaining about insufficient of safety feeling with me as we are not sure about the feeling as love.A long journey of love is very hard to maintain, but ask yourself, how important she is or he is? The problem can resolve? How to resolve? Just try to think back the first feeling that you love her or him. Nobody know about future, or even tomorrow. Just do what you can do in this moment. Do not regret afterward & blame on yourself like me! I have a bad experience, thus i advise. Hope your friends can get what i mean. Just start from beginning, to catch the feeling. Rethink rethink & rethink. Give a break, but not a break for the relationship. There is very hard to find someone that you love her or him, and she or he love you too for a long time. Long journey love need a lot of safety feeling, i failed to give her.But if i have the second chance, i will not be like now, to regret and feel sad with her. Love is very simple, why we need to think about the result? Nobody can predict the result, even GOD. Just let it be naturally. This is the way, not to avoid it like me. I avoid it last time because i feel troublesome for myself, but this is very bad & cruel. I realize it when i realized the fact now. Every problem have the resolve idea, just depend how we think it. Avoid is not the resolve way, but is the cruel way to break the relationship forever. Just like what i done for her. good luck for everyone.

Eugene Tan said...

Vomit blood. =P.
I already told you different case lorr.
for my friend 1.She falls in love with a guy who is not available. But the guy still giving her wrong signal all the time. So i am hoping she will give up ASAP.
For Jetiame,
** agree with eric
love is not about a business or investment.u may not get back rewards even u pay effort on it.
but do enjoy when u making the effort .dont u ?
Yes, you are right, but please remember that love involves 2 parties, need to be balanced. Your case is also different from Eric 1.

springmemories said...

Love is very complicated....
honestly,I'm involved in a house not for sales too.That why, I totally understand what your friend are facing now.
Ya.. Learn to give up is the best way for this situation.But do remember, teory is easy and application is hard..
I'm still learning at the moment....

Eugene Tan said...

Hi Cheah,
"teory is easy and application is hard..
I'm still learning at the moment...."
Hope u will get well soon, and dun always think that theory is easy and application is hard, else u will take it as an excuse and will not easy for u to give up then. =).

Eric said...

life is still going on and everything pass and go by, therefore we must learn to be appreciate everyday as well (not to give up only). So wish we can resolve our issue and happy for it.

Eric said...

life is still going on and every things is passing and goes by every second, therefore we must learn appreciate as well (Not just learn to be give up because not everything we must be thinking to give up, hope must be putting) Thus, wish we can resolve our issue & happy for it.

springmemories said...

hey... thank for the advises...
I do understand those teories..:P
learn to give up because he is not availabe....
learn to appreciate because he is a special friend of mine...
So, give up or appreciate????
This still remain a question...:P
Hope to got the answer soon ...
anyway, nice to meet you guys..
Eugene & Eric...

Eric said...

halo cheah,glad to meet you as well.In fact, love is very simple, but people think it in complex!Do you agree: worry mean care, then mean love? I confusing these with my girl but the answer no longer important for me or her now. Do not still thinking of give up or appreciate. This is not important btw.Answer is not important, why we should push ourselve to find the resolve way?Nobody can ensure the 100% answer.But we must appreciate for everyone and do not easily give up for a relationship. DO NOT REGRET for the next second!But if he is no longer available,you should not step on the relationship with the man!Just change your mind to as a best friend and appreciate him as your best friend.Cheah, i guess you understand about it, isn't it?In fact,starting a relationship and maintaining it,there is a long journey. The love journey take time, ofcourse both two party mustbe responsible for the relationship. A man love to see around, freedom and love avoid. But a man must take his responsible for his girl when starting the relationship. Girl need feeling and safety a lot, these is girl's basic requirement so do my girl. A man love freedom and single flexible life.So always make girl confusing. Cheah,you know your position now, therefore you can appreciate him as a best friend.You must clear on your mind that he is no longer available and his girl and him is still maintaining the relationship on the other way round. You cannot change the fact as you understand it. Sometime human make a lot of confuses and conflicts, do you agree with it?Failure makes me feel the pain and wake up. Therefore i wish Cheah & Eugene's friend can at last resolve your issue and happy.i wish i can help as i can, i do not hope any other girl hurt like what i done for my girl. Good luck for you.

Eugene Tan said...

Cheah,
"learn to give up because he is not available....
learn to appreciate because he is a special friend of mine...
So, give up or appreciate????
This still remain a question...:P"
u already answer it, give up for the hope that he will be your boy friend, and appreciate him as a friend as long as he is no more giving you wrong signal. 不要再为自己找借口了。明天会更好。

Eric, I know your story and pity you also for made the wrong decision, but please dun poison my friend's mind,=P, because she will read my blog. She falls in love with a guy who is not available. So she must give up now. Dun link your story with her 1, because totally different. And, thanks for your sharing, future, anything related to love, must think twice before you make your decision.
三思而后行。不然就会悔不当初。悔了以后,请记得,人生还是要继续往前走。

Jetiame said...

Mr Eugene Tan:
Eric not poisoning ur fren la.wat he trying to say actually is same with urs ..
eugene:give up for the hope that he will be your boy friend, and appreciate him as a friend ....

Eric:But if he is no longer available,you should not step on the relationship with the man!Just change your mind to as a best friend

Jetiame:命里有时终须有
命里无时莫强求。随缘吧。

Eugene Tan said...

jetiame,
I knw, =P, but i just want to emphasize on "give up". and Eric's comments more on giving hope, because there is no hope for my friend's case. =), Guys, i created a another "a story from Eric", for hope and appreciation. Have a nice day for all.

ongki said...

I like the idea of 'learning to give up', but its confusing and a dilemma when your inner self struggling, 'I should go else will regret' and 'i should let go or i will not see a better future'...

Life is not something we can predict. I spent my quarter of my life chasing for 'houses' and ended up with a lot of 'earthquakes' :P

Hi, me Ongki, came across your blog. Sentimental one...